(PHOTOS AND LINKS IN THIS POST CONTAIN ADS)
They really are necessary to sooth the pain until you can repair the breach of your energy...
Excerpt from the book Broken Heart(AD)...
In typical situations, expect tears to flow from the moment of experiencing a break-up until you are basically, over it. I can honestly say that after 47 years of life, it ranks among the most painful experiences I've ever had. How long does it take for the pain to go away? It could take a few weeks to a few years depending on each situation and person. Sometimes you will be forced to deal with your own shortcomings and issues, which can be quite painful. You will also be forced to deal with the negative, broken energy field that is around you that will draw unwanted riff raff into your life (both physical and spiritual). Be careful.
After the initial basket-case period of crying, sleeping, begging, not eating, not paying bills, depression and more begging and boxes of tissues, things will finally start to calm down and you will find that you do want to shower and comb your hair again -- you may even pay a bill or two :).
Often while doing menial tasks like driving, cooking, laundry, etc., a scent may waft across your nose or a thought will come to mind to catapult you back into oblivious darkness. Take the plunge, if you must, but don't remain there. It is good to totally forget about watching romantic comedies or listening to love songs for a while. These bouts of weeping will begin to happen less frequently and will be of shorter duration as time progresses. Pace yourself to avoid manic states of happiness and sorrow. If you are having a good day, don't try to do too much as it may use up large amounts of your precious energy and throw you back into a depressed state.
Take this time to understand why you are crying. Obvious reasons for tears are the initial feelings of loneliness, loss of love interest, betrayal, abandonment and rejection, financial fears, all of which will fade away, however there may be other underlying reasons as well. If break-ups are recurrent for you, ask yourself the following questions:
After the initial basket-case period of crying, sleeping, begging, not eating, not paying bills, depression and more begging and boxes of tissues, things will finally start to calm down and you will find that you do want to shower and comb your hair again -- you may even pay a bill or two :).
Often while doing menial tasks like driving, cooking, laundry, etc., a scent may waft across your nose or a thought will come to mind to catapult you back into oblivious darkness. Take the plunge, if you must, but don't remain there. It is good to totally forget about watching romantic comedies or listening to love songs for a while. These bouts of weeping will begin to happen less frequently and will be of shorter duration as time progresses. Pace yourself to avoid manic states of happiness and sorrow. If you are having a good day, don't try to do too much as it may use up large amounts of your precious energy and throw you back into a depressed state.
Take this time to understand why you are crying. Obvious reasons for tears are the initial feelings of loneliness, loss of love interest, betrayal, abandonment and rejection, financial fears, all of which will fade away, however there may be other underlying reasons as well. If break-ups are recurrent for you, ask yourself the following questions:
- Do I constantly make wrong decisions and end up with the same guy (in different skin) over and over again?
- Do I have unresolved issues from childhood or previous relationships that negatively affect my choices or actions in any relationship that I enter?
- Do I typically move too fast in relationships or fall in love too quickly?
- Do I have underlying problems like drinking, drug abuse, anger management issues that continually drive men away from me, despite the fact that I really do want to be in a love relationship? Have I done anything about it besides blame others?
- Am I afraid to be alone (single) and know deep down inside that the Universe is trying to help me to grow out of that?
If any of the issues above or similar ones are sabotaging your ability to be in a relationship, seek professional or spiritual counsel so that you can understand the patterns of your life and heal from negative behavioral patterns. This will at least help you to understand possible true reasons for the break up and tears. It will also help to prevent more pain in the future. A past life reading may even help you to understand if you were the one causing heart break in a previous life -- Karma is a bitch you know -- but Karma also wants you to get better.
When you initially leave a relationship, you may be aware that your lost love is dating other people. You are still in touch with him, pretending to be his friend in hopes that you guys will get back together. He may start to confide in you like you really are his friend. You find out he has a date Saturday night and as the time for the date approaches, you are thrown back into meltdown. You experience each excrutiating moment of that date as an invisible third party that they are totally unaware of. You have completely forgotten that you did not want him anyway. What you are experiencing is simply soul-disconnect. Whether you like your past lover or not, the souls WILL merge. To quicken the pace of the disconnect, it is best that you do not try to stay in touch initially unless you just have to for children that you share with your ex. If the children spend time with him, do not interrogate them upon their return. It's like going to rehab to get over drugs. Deal with the pain now and you can get over it more quickly. Also, I can guarantee you, if your ex wronged you, his new relationships are NEVER as good as they appear to be, and usually won't last too long.
There are those who swear by the fact that finding a new love will prevent meltdowns. I am unable to attest to this because I love too deeply to dive into new romance soon after a break-up. As soon as I hang up the phone with my new love, I find myself calling the old one because the new one was not able to do anything about my need to disconnect from my old love's soul.
Go ahead. Have your meltdown. Cry. Sob. Laugh hysterically. Just don't break grandma's antique dishes that she left to you, her favorite granddaughter. Have a friend keep them until your meltdown period is over.
When you initially leave a relationship, you may be aware that your lost love is dating other people. You are still in touch with him, pretending to be his friend in hopes that you guys will get back together. He may start to confide in you like you really are his friend. You find out he has a date Saturday night and as the time for the date approaches, you are thrown back into meltdown. You experience each excrutiating moment of that date as an invisible third party that they are totally unaware of. You have completely forgotten that you did not want him anyway. What you are experiencing is simply soul-disconnect. Whether you like your past lover or not, the souls WILL merge. To quicken the pace of the disconnect, it is best that you do not try to stay in touch initially unless you just have to for children that you share with your ex. If the children spend time with him, do not interrogate them upon their return. It's like going to rehab to get over drugs. Deal with the pain now and you can get over it more quickly. Also, I can guarantee you, if your ex wronged you, his new relationships are NEVER as good as they appear to be, and usually won't last too long.
There are those who swear by the fact that finding a new love will prevent meltdowns. I am unable to attest to this because I love too deeply to dive into new romance soon after a break-up. As soon as I hang up the phone with my new love, I find myself calling the old one because the new one was not able to do anything about my need to disconnect from my old love's soul.
Go ahead. Have your meltdown. Cry. Sob. Laugh hysterically. Just don't break grandma's antique dishes that she left to you, her favorite granddaughter. Have a friend keep them until your meltdown period is over.