The Power of Focus - Excerpt from the Book "Broken Heart" by Renee Tarot

There is an important thing that we have to remember -- our mind is our own and was given to us to benefit us.  Unfortunately we fail to realize that our precious minds control everything in our existence and is the essence of who we really are...

Please enjoy the following excerpt from my book, "Broken Heart" by Renee Tarot.(AD)




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Too many times we give our minds to our significant others, meaning that they are constantly on it -- our minds, that is.  Our focus is on the other person so much so that we forget about everything else to include ourselves.


If we did not want the break up or divorce, we can find ourselves constantly thinking about the following things.

  1. What did I do wrong?
  2. What could I have done differently?
  3. What is he/she doing now?
  4. How can they go on without me?
  5. What is their new love interest like and how are they different from me?
  6. Where do I go from here?
  7. How do I do all that I have to do alone?
  8. Am I unlovable? (You may ask yourself this after multiple break-ups.)
  9. How will this affect my children?
Instead of repeatedly asking ourselves the questions above, we must redirect our focus and rehearse the following statements:
  1. I know I am going to be just fine, actually even better than I was before because I know more now.
  2. I will take what I have learned from this relationship and grow better and stronger.
  3. Relationships can be habitual, but habits can be broken.
  4. I will see what friendship we can safely salvage and if none, I let it go.
  5. My children will be fine.
  6. I am smart and resourceful so I know I can get through this.
  7. I don't have to stop loving you to move on, but I will move on.  I have a lot of love to give.
  8. I will genuinely laugh and smile through this process.
  9. It's my mind so I will take back control and never lose control of my mind again.
  10. I love life.
Please remember in the beginning the 'bad' questions will keep popping up so we must force them out and continually refocus until we retrain our minds.  We can think about whatever we want to think about because our minds belong to us.  We must stop letting negative thoughts rule us and we must take back control of our minds.

There are still daily activities that must be accomplished whether or not you are in the midst of a break-up.  Make sure that you focus on even the simplest of tasks and fine joy in doing them in an excellent way.  Don't take out your frustrations on friends and family just because the usual object of your anger is gone.  Find someone you trust to take the kids for a month or two so that you can heal yourself and get it together if you find that your spirit is disjointed or fragmented.

I've said it once and I'll say it again -- be sure to meditate via guided meditations, self-hypnosis tapes and what have you.  It is time to reprogram your mind by learning to redirect your focus.  Besides, didn't you get into this mess anyway by REdirecting your focus, which we in America like to call falling in love?

Most of the pain of a break up is in our conscious, subconscious and spirit.  Some of the break-up pain will be physical if you are use to sleeping with or being next to the person.  You will probably need at least 30 days to get over the initial shock.  Cry if you must, but don't mull over it.  Whether the relationship lasted for 3 months or 30 years, deal with it, mourn and then MOVE ON!!!!!!!!

You can do it!