This article will not be for the faint of heart, and all of you 'still juicy' over 55 year olds who have been happily married for over 30 years and who are still having great sex with the same man more than twice a week, while orgasming each time......shut your laptops and close your smartphones NOW! This message is NOT for you!
Did My Vagina Close Shop Without Telling Me?
Yes, she did and she embarrassed the heck out of me. I probably should not have been trying to do anything with him anyway, and keep in mind, I had a sexually shy, very Christian mom, who told me nada about my vajayjay, who we will call Candy.
So let's call him Bolo. Bolo lived not far from me and we'd run into each other numerous times over the years. It seemed like we were suppose to meet so we decided that Fate wanted us in a relationship. We both agreed that after disastrous marriages, we did not want to commit, but just wanted to have a monogamous, intimate relationship with someone who we could trust not to infect us with an STD (as if you can really do that).
Bolo and I planned a wonderful evening of intimate semi-commitment and I'd washed, dressed and thought I was ready. It had been about a year or so since my last sexual encounter and though I'd started to skip periods, I was still me, right? Nope, not right.
Anyhoo, Bolo and I had drinks because I definitely did not want to eat before sex....I had that much sense and had put on a few extra pounds, but I was brave. Candy had encouraged me to go ahead with it. I'd decided that a woman in her late 40s, early 50s was not suppose to be alone. She was suppose to be sexually active. So Bolo was kind of on the big side, and I was glad because I'd heard that little men were not satisfying. Now I know that many menopausal women would love to have a little guy, yet I digress.
The evening progressed nicely and, as expected, Bolo mounted me, and it was the same as usual -- or so I thought. I could feel his penis preparing to enter into Candy, and I just figured she'd be wet like she was when I was 26. Now granted, I'd not looked down there in quite a while, because, who does...really. I also thought I'd stopped thinking about sex lately because I was busy -- I didn't realize that was a sign too. So he began to press into me and press some more, however the vajayjay said, "nope."
I was embarrassed. I began telling him how big and manly he was and that I wasn't use to having a man like that. He said everything was okay so we tried again. After about 15 minutes, I knew it was a no go and had horrible thoughts of having to rush myself to the hospital the next day to see if I needed surgery to pry my Candy back open.
Bolo went home.
I washed again and went to bed.
The next day, I called my sister and told her my vajayjay had fused closed, and she laughed at me, just like Carrie's mama said. Though she was two years older, she did not give me any tips, until years later.
The only tip my mother gave me was, "you're really gonna miss your periods when their gone."
Fast forward a few years and after entering a committed relationship and after much burning, irritation, itching, actual pain, doctor visits, yeast infection meds, etc., I became a semi-expert on vaginal atrophy.
When I Think of Vaginal Atrophy, I Think of Vaginal Death. Not Quite.
When you think atrophy, you think death, right? Well, not really. When it comes to vaginal atrophy, it really is just a term meaning dried out. Thank the Goddess for all of our outspoken sisters, doctors and nurse practitioners online who have been open and honest about what to do. To think that I thought I was smart....lol. I consider myself to be a woman who is somewhat sensitive down there and wanted to share with you what I did:
- Visit your gyno. I know, you though that was for young women, but it is for older women also. Some of the OTC items that are recommended here cannot take the place of prescription drugs and hormones that may be needed. Your doctor has to evaluate you to determine what is best for you personally.
- I stopped taking long, hot, soapy baths to help with anxiety and traded them for CBD. Now I make my own soap, which consists of a 1 part to 8 part ratio of some unscented liquid soap with purified water. There is no harsh rubbing, mostly separating and patting and gentle fingers to get her clean. A good removable showerhead is also a lifesaver and a necessity.
- Probiotics R Us. Yes, I take them in capsule form, gummies and via yogurt -- just not at the same time. Please do not discriminate and a couple of different types of methods of use are helpful with replenishing good bacteria, reducing cholesterol, keeping down gassy belly, etc.
- I am currently using an internal vaginal moisturizer twice a week. Replens works well for me, and if you've been dry for years (it sneaks up on you) expect to shed dead skin with the first few uses. I promise it gets better, and you'll wish you had done this stuff before you actually needed to.
- Aquafor is my friend. No, really. I mean Aquafor is my trusted companion, that I cannot go anywhere without; not on a plane; not on a honeymoon; not to my grandma's grave; not anywhere. The chamomile in Aquafor literally heals me in days and the stuff is soothing, comforting, wonderful and preventative: You will love her for it. Yes, I am convinced Aquafor is a girl.
- Intimate times call for intimate lubricating jelly, so don't be ashamed. You are a spirit creature living in an earth suit, now how long will you go without an oil change? Will you treat your vehicle better than your bodycle? We buy car oil, we buy KY, that's it, accept it.