The Unseen Emptiness
"Even the good things he does, I don't feel. You know that hollow ache? That's what I'm talking about."
A big mistake that many women make is to think that a couple who's been married a long time cares anything about each other. Many times, by the time death comes to a spouse, the couple has NO feelings for each other. It’s a harsh reality, but it’s real.
Beyond the Pretty Picture
I live in a retirement town, and there was one thing that I was truly flabbergasted about. Our local news reported too many murders. Men in their 60s and 70s who killed their wives of over 40 years! What does that tell you about the reality behind closed doors, even after decades?
I recall reading a comment on a YouTube video from a woman whose husband had narcissistic yelling fits. She'd decided to remain married to him for the kids, social security, retirement, financial security, etc.. One day, during one of his ragings, he had a heart attack and died. She said that was and still is the best day of her life.
Hollywood's Deception
Hollywood lies. They sell us this dream of eternal love, best friends forever. I am sure there are some women who married the loves of their lives or their best friend; however, that is the exception rather than the rule. And you know it, deep down.
Your Personal Threshold
As a human being, you have a threshold. Everyone's threshold is different; however, when your husband reaches your threshold of having mistreated you, there will be nothing that he can ever do to make you think he is any better of a person. That line has been crossed, and there's no going back.
You can still choose to stay with him, perhaps for financial reasons, for the kids, or just because it’s familiar. However, you will never like, love, admire, or desire him as a man again. That part of you is gone. Perhaps you choose to remain because you don't believe in love anymore (with anyone) and you think what you are in now is better than being alone. Maybe you stay because you don't feel he deserves any better.
Real talk. And it's okay to admit it.